It is often said that ‘common sense’ is not common. I agree. However, these are some basic rules we must obey to be regarded as ‘Civilized visitors’.
1. CALL before you go: Come on… We are in the 21st century. And it’s a mobile age. There’s just no reason to suddenly appear at the door of your host like the second coming of Christ. Make it a point of duty to call the person you’re going to see before going. Firstly, it saves you the disappointment of not meeting them and it also give them the room to prepare for your coming (IF they want you to come)
2. DO NOT Knock more than THREE times: Think about it… If they’re around, they should have heard your knock the first time, or the second time, or at least a third time just to be sure. So having knocked three times, it’s either they’re not around or they just don’t want to open (for reasons best known to them). So respect yourself and leave. Stop disturbing. (well, except it’s an emergency in which case you should knock even harder, or perhaps break the door.)
3. NEVER hang around private discussions for long: Ok… Let’s assume you missed the first rule and you went there without calling first only to meet your host having a PRIVATE meeting (or discussion) with someone else, or they may even have told you to come, yet you met this situation. PLEASE EXCUSE YOURSELF and leave. Offer to come another time or say you have somewhere else to be at the moment. But no matter what, don’t hang around. It makes everyone uncomfortable.
4. DO NOT feel at home: Yeah, I know many hosts will always tell you to ‘feel at home’. Trust me, most of them don’t really mean it. You are NOT at home. Always remember that. Retain an air of self-restrictions. Refrain from over indulgence (Especially in food and drinks) it reduces the respect of your host for you. There is a certain prestige and honour that comes with a simple ‘No, Thanks’.
5. Make it BRIEF and RARE: Now this rule doesn’t really apply so much with close friends and relatives. But it still applies all the same. DO NOT stay too long there. Even if they are not complaining, you should know that they have other things to do than to simply sit there chatting with you. Once you’re done with all the pleasantries and catching up, a few more minutes (or at most an hour) should suffice before you leave. Don’t over stay your welcome. And please make your visit rare also. Too many visitation within a short time makes you come off as a nuisance to your host. So make your presence rare and create some value for yourself.
If you have found this useful and true, please share.
And I heard “Sometimes, we make the wrong choices to get to the right place”.
Think about it, God really is not counting on us His Children to do all things right every time. He has a way of turning our broken pieces into a Master piece.
So just like ME, in case you’re wondering how your life is going to manifest the big dreams you’ve always had, I have this message for US.
● God is the author of Time, so don’t worry about your past.
● He is Alpha and Omega, so even the Future is in his hands.
● The Successes of others are not evidences of your Failure, so no need for comparisons.
● Begin now to Focus on WHO you truly are and What you ALREADY have (not who you’re not or what you don’t have.)
● With God, it’s never too late to fulfill Destiny. You just have to TRUST and WALK with Him. Moses (at 80) had a fresh start and made a trans-generational mark on humanity. (Remember Abraham also)
Yes, sometimes we make the wrong choices to get to the right place, not because the wrong choices were supposed to take us there, but because God can use both the good and the bad (right and wrong) and make it all work out for our good. It’s all part of His Grace.
So do not despair, because…
We Are Stars.
Love your neighbour as yourself…
Thus goes the scriptures.
But what if that neighbour is myself,
An image of reflected pictures.
I looked at you and saw a most familiar face.
I listened to your words and heard the echo of my voice.
So I came to hold your hand and I felt my heart race.
Amidst confusing options, I took you for my choice.
Time and time again, discontented my mind was,
Yet to reject, my heart would not partake.
For when I tried, my back to turn against yours,
I saw myself as the image I forsake.
So here I stand looking into the mirror
Seeing your eyes staring back at me
And no matter what I see as a blemish or an error,
I am reminded that you are a part of me.
(C) Peter Akhere
I have been young and I am still young
but the wise have taught me that wisdom is not a function of many years long.
That knowledge is not reflected in the grey scale of a man’s hair,
but in the quality of words proceeding from his tongue.
So make no assumptions – that the old is always right and the young is always wrong.
For if we would let Nature teach us, we could gain direction even by a bird’s song.
(C) Peter Akhere
I have seen many days, I have seen many nights.
I have seen laughter, I have seen tears.
I have been happy, I have been sad.
I have experienced success, I have experienced failure too.
I have seen strangers become friends, I have seen friends become strangers.
I have enjoyed gains, I have suffered loses.
I have been up high, I have been down low…
But this indeed is what I have to say;
All things in life happen for a REASON. And every experience is but for a SEASON.
When the season is gone and the reason is learned, there comes about GROWTH. – A growth that can only be by CHANGE. A change that can only be WITHIN.
So whatever you are going through now, learn from the reason and live out the season. You are coming out stronger and better, PURER THAN GOLD… You will succeed!
Here I stand humbled, with face bowed in shame.
Yes I have fumbled and disgraced your name.
But what can I do, to redeem my place.
This I ask of you, that you show me grace.
As I stand, I cry. I mourn for my loss.
As I cry, I try, to reach for the cross.
Cleanse me, this I pray, rid me of my woe.
And wash me today, make me white as snow.
All I ask is this, that you call me son.
And to have your kiss, like a child just born.
I long for a taste, of your soothing rain.
For this I make haste to feel once again.
Take me and restore, light up my darkness.
For you I adore, of you have reverence.
To you I have come, to none I will go.
For me you did come, and this I do know.
You did give me all, and I did not lack.
But I had a fall, to you turned my back.
Restore unto me, that which I have lost.
Please uplift me, raise me from the dust.
For this I will sing and lift up my voice.
You alone are king and I will rejoice.
You are kind to all, in grace not frugal.
So to you I call as a prodigal.
(C) Peter Akhere
Mother opened the door of my room slowly and walked in gently with her hands folded loosely on her breasts. Her eyes were reddened and she was sniffing. I knew she had been crying all day and into the night. As she came closer to my bed, I closed my eyes and listened to my breath. – they were heavy and short paced.
“Please God, heal my baby boy…”
I could hear mother say as she knelt beside my bed.
It was on new year’s eve and mother was home alone with me. Father had abandoned mother when he got tired of taking care of a sickle celled son three years after I was born. Mother said he ran off to marry another woman in another city. And in my twelve years of human existence, I had only seen my father in a picture frame. He had looked happy in that suit he was wearing as he held mother close in that white wedding gown. In my twelve years of human existence, I had only seen mother smile so brightly in that picture frame.
Mother continued to cry, begging God to heal me as she held my shivering hand. I wanted to tell her to stop crying, that everything will be OK, but I barely had enough strength to keep my eye lids open, let alone formulate words with my tongue. I managed to open my eyes and I saw the digital clock hanging up on the wall – 11:58. And it was two minutes to the new year. I closed my eyes again.
As mother continued to pray through her crying voice, I heard the cheering sound of screaming people around the neighbourhood. Happy New year!!! They screamed and shouted, as I tried again to open my eyes… LIGHT, WHITE LIGHT… and I saw a man in an immaculate white robe with a most reassuring smile. He beckoned on me and I moved towards him, for I was standing now. As I turned back to see what was behind me, I saw mother still crying and begging God to heal her baby boy and there he was, lying lifeless on the bed.
(C) Peter Akhere